Recently on my Facebook "Fashion Tip of the Day" I posted this photograph as an option for a Fall look that is at the same time contemporary, relaxed and easy to achieve. I even went as far as calling it the new All-American look. The posting was well received but then I also received several responses with the question:
What about if you're over 50?
This got my attention since it never really occurred to me that this outfit was inappropriate for someone over 50 - I'm 50 and I feel very comfortable wearing this as a matter of fact, jeans and a blazer are a big part of how I dress most days - so I knew there was a bigger question to answer here.
Having recently celebrated my 50th birthday, I can tell you that the first couple of months of my 49th birthday were mentally challenging. I was trying to reconcile the idea of turning half a century and I could not really accept it. I didn't see 50 when I looked in the mirror. I did not feel 50 in my mind or spirit. I have a perfect bill of health - outside of acid reflux and having to wear readers. I certainly did not feel what I thought 50 should feel like.
And then it hit me, I was comparing myself as I am today with my old idea of what 50 was or should be. William Frawley was 54 when he played the character of Fred Mertz in I love Lucy and I certainly did not look or felt like Fred Mertz. I was simply hanging on to this old concept of what 50 was.
Based on my old ideas; men who were 50 were wrinkled and had flabby skin, maybe they had a big gut, if they went to the gym it was maybe to do water aerobics. Had very little - if any sex - drive. Would always be asking "What?" cause their hearing was going; fast. Would never be seen at a bar or on a date. If they were gay they had relocated to Palm Springs. They were grumpy and said things like; "well back in the day.........." And mostly they were always wearing comfortable clothing - over sized, roomy, plain garments - and had completely ignored their sense of style.
Boy was I in for a rude awakening!
I am what 50 is. What I see in the mirror is what 50 looks like. Young, vibrant, healthy, sexy, and full of energy. So what I was missing was acceptance of what is the truth about 50 for me today. What I was doing was comparing myself to what I thought 50 should be.
Men in their 50s are not wrinkle and flabby. They take care of their skin, they exfoliate regularly. They go to Spas and get facials and body scrubs.
Men in their 50s exercise regularly- at the very least. They run triathlons and marathons, they participate in extreme sports. They watch what they eat and take care of their bodies.
Men in their 50s have exciting active sex drive - besides there are plenty of ways to enhance that challenge if it ever becomes one.
Men in their 50s are dating and actively socializing. They are starting new lives and parenting for the first time.
Men in their 50s seek help if issues come up and take care of their frustrations and grumpiness.
Gay men in their 50s.......... are still moving to Palm Springs.
Men in their 50s DO NOT dress like old men anymore - for the most part.
I happen to dress men for a living and the bulk of my clientele is between 35 and 60. I can tell you first hand that when it comes to looking good and dressing properly, age has nothing to do with it. To look your best, men must find confidence in who they are, have clothes that fit properly and feel comfortable in how they look. This is the key to looking good and age is nothing but a number. For the last 6 months, prior to turning 50, I started asking men about this high point in their lives and the response was almost unanimous. We have been raised to believe that by 50 we were to feel, act and look a certain way which is no longer true for us today. Though turning 50 does become a time of semi-reflection, it does not have to be a prescription for doom. It is quite simply the opposite. It is the awakening necessary to embark on a new experience of life filled with 50 years of experience which nothing or no-one can ever take away. It is a time for celebration.
So re-evaluate the way you look today - or call me and let me help you with that. You are never too old to look - and feel - your best!
I couldn't have said it better myself, so I'm just going to share what you wrote - lol! Thanks Vincent!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for writing this well thought out and inspiring take on this topic and being 50. I recently turned 50 and made a conscious decision to recommit to being healthy and getting as fit as I possible could be. I also have been reviewing everything I put on body. If it does not property fit....I DON'T wear it. It helps to broadcast that I am here and not hiding!! Thanks Vincent for the guidance!
ReplyDeleteHaving just turned 49, I loved reading this. It's fantastic. Thank you thank you!!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I love that outfit!
You need to go to a Walmart in Tulsa, I think! Los Angeles gay and Metrosexual men are indeed a different breed of 50+ than the William Frawley's of yesteryear. But we are in a bit of a cocoon here. In most of America, men in their 50s may be doing less well than our far less sedentary grandparents at the same age.
ReplyDeleteHaving just turned 53 this weekend though (and wearing a white t-shirt as I type this) I certainly don't mind being part of the "new 50s" set you describe.